Please Forgive Me

For all my Wives for Devilgirl,Tari,Ellecia,Makayla,Aurora as well and this is a short story of me right now I been down since yesterday due to my past and hatted childhood of nothing but pure HELL and since those days of abuse and hatred in my childhood and this makes me who I am today and since my father came back in my life at 16 years old and did a crime on me and I thought he was a better dad and changed from a major A-HOLE he was with mother before I was born he treated mother like total TRASH and always fighting when I was with him I never knew if I was even loved or very loved from my girlfriends and family always mixed emotions and now I am grown and a man and have a hatred and coldness in my heart and soul and I got counseling for it that my life when through and my family is a big disaster and living in a tornado is no fun cause a swirling,mass of chaos and been in it since now that I lay it out for all my wives to read what I feel inside me and why and since in the movie I was even more hated makes me so cold to people and feel nothing some times for anyone then I have to realize I have ones now on D.A that care and love me and that brings the fire out in me cause when I am sad or crying hard I get very cold and freeze like a statue due to it and it's very painful to feel coldness in your soul and heart and feels like total CRAP to know that you been through so much like myself and feel like crap and SHIT all ya life due to your SHIT ya been through since childhood to a grown man like myself and I went to God for a lot of things but the pain and memories of abuse and torture in my life is still haunting me and now I been having visions of nightmares for 2 weeks of all this CRAP I been through and tonight is the night to tell it and since my father kept on smoking and died 3 times in the hospital in Bastrop, Tx and now my Grandfather died and they both did things but my father went to JAIL for what he did to me is... he....sigh... raped me a lot in those 2 years and now I am very cold and hard to people and even my own mother has a hard time to touch me and when someone hugs me now I cry cause not sure if I am hated for being who I am a Red Death or loved and if my wives can then tell me and help me I will be okay to know that I am and so sorry for making you all so mad for the DICK things I do like I treated Scarlette in my comic HeartBurn like you my girls and so sorry again and hope ya all still love me tha same and more. Ty for reading my little, sad, story in my life and thanks for being there as well and supporting me to be now the #1 D.A member on here. Thanks so much....walks off and sad and put my shades on and walks in my own darkness and coldness now gone and not looking back to my past anymore.